15 Comments
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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Wonderful, Chen! You know I cannot speak or read Russian, but I trust you, and I'm sure that those who are able to read Russian will be happy with this translation. It was a difficult enough for me to write in English. I'm so pleased you thought enough of it to make your own translation!

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Portia's avatar

It is a really wonderful interpretation by Chen. It reminds me of counterpoint in music – "the relationship of two or more simultaneous musical lines (also called voices) that are harmonically interdependent yet independent in rhythm and melodic contour." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterpoint

Paul, that was one of my favourite poems of yours, and Chen is the best translator you could wish for.

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

Oh.

you're too kind, both of you. It's really humbling.

I'm so glad you like it, because it's really...hard to explain even. I had to post it without being quite content, just to get off the carouselle for the time being. To see it, you know?

Thank you

It's amazing though how illiterate I am, going to re-read about counterpoint.

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Portia's avatar

I had to read again the definition of counterpoint, just to get it right. I think it fits perfectly. You might not be quite content with your translation, because translating poetry means going down a path, rather than another, which you may find more suitable later on. But that's the beauty of it: you can try again, choosing a different path, and then another, and then another... They all go towards the same destination.

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

🩵

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Смышленый Малыш Габриэль's avatar

Sooo…. What’s the question, again? Lol

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

if you're so inclined there are several, all pretty interesting by the way, having to do with "stranger things":

..but I feel you're not so inclined, so I'll compress it into one :

-should it be take 3? After I take some distance, of course

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Смышленый Малыш Габриэль's avatar

who am I to say “should” or “shouldn’t”

( but I liked first one better huhuhuh <— demonic laugh )

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

ok)) that helps))

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

Thank you so very much for the restack, Portia

It means a lot❤️

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

thank you so much for the restack, Buku Sarkar

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Hyun Woo Kim's avatar

It is interesting that while the original is a free verse, you chose to go with a form that resembles the hymnal stanza for the translation. I guess the notion of traditional poetry becomes stronger when the verse is in Russian.

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

That, it does; but original is not a free verse? It has meter, rhyme. all strongly felt.

Unless. I know nothing about theory and how things are called...can it still be free verse? Having both meter and rhyme?

Also, will google hymnal stanza.

(too many things elude me))

Thank you!

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Connor Conor's's avatar

This translation is fantastic!

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

oh. thank you very much, Taylor -too kind, really

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