I was caught by your why question. We can be our hardest critic sometimes. I hope you have that in mind. It's a very broad comment to say you don't like any of your work yet. The yet holds a lot of power and hope. I'm sure there are elements of your work that may or may not need improvement. But remember at the time of you writing it, you did the best you could. Ten years on, you're a little different and would have done it differently. Be gentle to you and the work you do.
I usually don't like my work(with some few exceptions)...I was talking about this specific translation. No, I didn't do the best I could. I mean I am trying, -but I failed in something, and took me time to understand where-but now when I know, maybe I can do better?
It's hard though. Maybe I need to take some distance. Maybe there'll be other draft. Ah. It started so light, so promising...
Thank you, Chen, for this translation—for all of them you’ve done, really. You know I don’t speak Russian, so I’m in your hands when you translate, but I trust that your sense and sensibility captures for readers of the Russian language the essence of what is written in mine.
As always, you are welcome to translate anything I write. 😊
Your talent is indisputable in this poem. I don't remember, whether I read Paul W. poem, but I am going to read it, of course), but without knowing about translation, this poem is in your style. Theme of loss, sadness strengthen linguistically by your 12-time using "t" letter as a sound in your first stanza. OK. All the comparisons m.b. came from Paul W.. but rhythm and rhyme came from you and made the poem very emotional. I don't want to diminish Paul W.'s talent, it's simply by nature, Russian language is more poetical. I never thought about it before I have to translate for my essays about Russian poets. Of course, every language has its own advantages, in poetry I prefer Russian. If you are worry about a gender- m., f.,- in poetry, linguistically, it's not important.
thank you, dear Larisa 💕I really love the original by Paul, I want to do it justice.
I did try to keep rhyme and rhythm of the original, I always do, -but. I couldn't divide it into same amount of stanzas though, or rather, maybe decided not to?
I had to let go of something, or it'd be too long, and would loose something else.
Maybe the rhythm got changed ever so slightly
By feminine and masculine, I mean the nature of the poem. My version of lament has something feminine about it. It's a woman's lament. Maybe choice of words..I don't know. Paul's is very much HIS lament.
I just never felt this disparity when trying to translate other poems.
I'll need to re-read it.
Thank you for noticing things like "t" letter-I didn't notice myself
You amaze me with what you see, really
I guess I walk in some fog, or something.
Dear Paul again thank you for bearing with me-and my long posts
I didn't read the Paul's poem yet. I am answering to the comments to my Blok.It is Paul's poem. He is the creator. I was talking about your poem as a standing on its own.
I was caught by your why question. We can be our hardest critic sometimes. I hope you have that in mind. It's a very broad comment to say you don't like any of your work yet. The yet holds a lot of power and hope. I'm sure there are elements of your work that may or may not need improvement. But remember at the time of you writing it, you did the best you could. Ten years on, you're a little different and would have done it differently. Be gentle to you and the work you do.
Thank you
💫🎈
I usually don't like my work(with some few exceptions)...I was talking about this specific translation. No, I didn't do the best I could. I mean I am trying, -but I failed in something, and took me time to understand where-but now when I know, maybe I can do better?
It's hard though. Maybe I need to take some distance. Maybe there'll be other draft. Ah. It started so light, so promising...
Thank you for your kind words.
Read it as a standalone piece and greatly enjoyed it! Then read the original and appreciated both works 🫡
Thank you, Vanya-too kind as usual 🩵
Thank you, Chen, for this translation—for all of them you’ve done, really. You know I don’t speak Russian, so I’m in your hands when you translate, but I trust that your sense and sensibility captures for readers of the Russian language the essence of what is written in mine.
As always, you are welcome to translate anything I write. 😊
🤍💫🪄
Thank you, again - I leave this little song for you, Chen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvBXF9BhrP0
🩵
I liked it as both standalone and translation.
Thank you-that truly means a lot
Your talent is indisputable in this poem. I don't remember, whether I read Paul W. poem, but I am going to read it, of course), but without knowing about translation, this poem is in your style. Theme of loss, sadness strengthen linguistically by your 12-time using "t" letter as a sound in your first stanza. OK. All the comparisons m.b. came from Paul W.. but rhythm and rhyme came from you and made the poem very emotional. I don't want to diminish Paul W.'s talent, it's simply by nature, Russian language is more poetical. I never thought about it before I have to translate for my essays about Russian poets. Of course, every language has its own advantages, in poetry I prefer Russian. If you are worry about a gender- m., f.,- in poetry, linguistically, it's not important.
thank you, dear Larisa 💕I really love the original by Paul, I want to do it justice.
I did try to keep rhyme and rhythm of the original, I always do, -but. I couldn't divide it into same amount of stanzas though, or rather, maybe decided not to?
I had to let go of something, or it'd be too long, and would loose something else.
Maybe the rhythm got changed ever so slightly
By feminine and masculine, I mean the nature of the poem. My version of lament has something feminine about it. It's a woman's lament. Maybe choice of words..I don't know. Paul's is very much HIS lament.
I just never felt this disparity when trying to translate other poems.
I'll need to re-read it.
Thank you for noticing things like "t" letter-I didn't notice myself
You amaze me with what you see, really
I guess I walk in some fog, or something.
Dear Paul again thank you for bearing with me-and my long posts
I didn't read the Paul's poem yet. I am answering to the comments to my Blok.It is Paul's poem. He is the creator. I was talking about your poem as a standing on its own.